Nationstates

[Tails82]

He's in Jake's region, isn't he?

[Chromeo]

Does everyone in your region have to get married to you?

[Tails82]

Well there's no other reason to stay in your dank oppressive region

[Deleted]

Following new legislation in The Light Warrior, piracy is the nation's most popular pastime.

Mission complete. >_>

[Tails82]

I outlawed cannibalism ^_^

Civil rights leader Fleur Spirit came out publicly for moderate pro-cannibalism legislation, commenting, "While it may strike some as a crude, even evil practice, our ancestors have practiced cannibalism for years. If we create a government organization to strictly regulate and grade all human meat prior to its arrival on the market, we can ensure that respect for diversity is maintained while health concerns are also allayed. And instead of killing average people, why not make being turned into snack foods a post-mortem option? Like donating your body to science!"

The few Space Furopians left would pick this.

[Pyro ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ✔]

"There is another way, you know..." whispers Randy Jong-Il, the Chief of Secret Projects and Shiny Things in Queen Ally's military research department. "What if we started taking children and raising them from birth to fight? We'd be able to make them completely immune to propaganda, psychological warfare, and demoralisation. Not only would that stop the crying new recruits, it'd also give us a powerful military edge. People may not like giving up their kids, but that's why we run the country. We know better."

Yes I'm all for making some Spartins from Halo. ^_^

[Tails82]

Rupert Bear is considered to be the most risqué TV programme in Stars and-or Stripes

FURRIES.

[Laharls_Wrath]

Sex offenders find themselves 'cut off' from any ability to repeat their crimes, the commercialisation of highly deadly weapons has instilled Krithgal with a very polite populace, public loudspeakers constantly tell citizens they are "happy people", and underage drinkers are dragged through the streets and put in the stocks.
it only gets better <333

[Pyro ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ✔]

Queen Ally is ranked 1st in the region and 16,070th in the world for Most Godforsaken.

lol

[Laharls_Wrath]

A spectacular but failed attempt on your life made national news today. Interrogation of captured suspects has pinned the blame on agents of the nation of Blackacre, with which Krithgal has notoriously chilly relations. Your cabinet is divided as to how to respond.
The Debate

1. "Assassins, huh? Well, two can play at that game!" says Warren McCue, your chief military adviser. "An eye for an eye! A tooth for a tooth! An assassination for a... missed shot, I suppose. Never mind that, think of the possibilities! Not only can we strike back at the scumbags who sent this assassin after you, we can turn our attention to... 'manipulating' the positions of foreign leaders and political rivals that stand in the way of Krithgal's glory." He then points two fingers at the wall and mouths 'bang bang' noises.


2. "Sending assassins to avenge you isn't enough!" argues hawkish talk-show host, Aaron Hanover. "The fact that Blackacre is this bold means we haven’t made them fear us yet - and a nation that isn’t feared isn’t respected. We need to do the only thing we CAN do: bomb their cities! Raise a revolution! Salt their fields! It may cost money, but our nation’s honor is priceless."

This is the position your government is preparing to adopt.

3. "I can't believe what I'm hearing!" says the muffled voice of Fleur Jong-Il, an anti-violence protestor who was, until now, hiding in your air vents. "By building up our military-industrial complex, WE have become the aggressor. WE are giving nations like Blackacre good reasons to hate us! No wonder they tried to kill you - we aren't giving them enough breathing room. If we cut back our military a bit and sent them a fruit basket now and then these problems would never happen."

[Pyro ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ✔]

"This idea is brilliant, and Queen Ally can't afford to pass it up," claims Chastity McGuffin, your Minister of Safety. "These loudspeakers can assure the public that the government is always here to help them. The potential here, to immediately warn citizens of an emergency such as an earthquake or a stampede of Allys or something, simply must be taken into account! This could save lives! And I suppose, when there isn't anything the citizens need to be told, you could always use them to broadcast patriotic messages like 'Who are you, and why should I care?' and inform the good people which party to join and vote for with newsbriefs and such. It'll be worth it to strengthen the populace's devotion to our glorious nation!"

HAHAHA yes!!!!

[Tails82]

"This just doesn't go far enough in my opinion," grumbles Tobias Thiesen an ardent opponent to homosexuality.

Yeah.

"The more concessions we give these people, the more they'll reduce our nation to the most embarrassing gayfest of all the region! We'll be a joke! Homosexuality is a sin, and not only that it's a disease of society and there's no two ways about it.

Yeah!

It must be criminalised and those responsible hanged just like in the good old days."

YEA-aww. Went 11 words too long. Now I have to take the moderate option and only outlaw gay adoption.

[Tails82]

UltraGOP's national animal is the jenpic, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation

Noooo I must save the jenpics

[Tails82]

"We don't need any of these stupid communistic welfare policies," says Freddy Steele, CEO of Stars and-or Stripes's largest Pizza Delivery company. "Living wages are unworkable! if you make workers expensive then employers are just going to use fewer or lose profits.

Yeah!

And as for minimum wage laws, I think it's a detriment to this nation's businesses that we even have to PAY them wages. If slavery was legal I think we'd find the nation's economy improving somewhat."

Freakin A

[Tails82]

"More police isn't the answer," retorts Billy-Bob Rubin, head of research at Stars and-or Stripes's largest car manufacturer. "This is a job for the private sector! We already have blueprints for cars with bullet-proof armour and mounted machine guns, and, if you'll pass appropriate legislation, we can have these things on sale in weeks. Let the people defend themselves!"

Oh God yes, the only issue I have is with the British spelling