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[little j ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ✔]

Okay, so I find Momiji to be the single most irritating character in the whole show but then episode 15 came along and holy craaaaaaaap ;_;

[Tails82]

Yeah still annoying though

[Tails82]

Weekend watching:

Kindergarten Cop 2 - with bro. We're not quite sure why he had to go undercover if the data is on a flash drive, which you could get with a search warrant. We're also not sure why there's a random pig in the school. But at least the presence of a taser within a child's reach was explained, shortly before a taser to the nuts joke. The Millennials Suck meme is in here big time, as Dolph bashes the assigned reading and tells his kids to be ubermensch strong winners, later throwing them into a classwide panic after telling them he brought a PB&J sandwich for lunch (gluten + peanut allergies!) Utterly boring, not much action, not a nearly good enough story to make up for that.

Imagine That - the kid starts off as annoying but then the dad takes over, after learning her playtime predictions earn big bucks in the stock market.

The Hidden Fortress - good enough but while we're on annoying characters, how about the lady who was mute but not mute enough. Random extended singing from her near the end that's somewhere between okay and bad.

The last Futurama episodes - I started off viewing this as the interesting side show (but the Simpsons would remain the best), and now we're at today where the Simpsons went downhill and this was actually the better show. Proves they could still do good stuff during that time but it wasn't happening at the Simpsons for whatever reason. Then again Futurama had fewer episodes and more to work with as they could go anywhere. The Simpsons had that era where they were goin' to Africa and goin' to Brazil but then ran out of places.

[little j ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ✔]

But does it still have a ferret?

[Tails82]

Didn't see one. I was half-asleep towards the end though, so maybe it snuck in while Dolph was in his trailer.

[Tails82]

What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? - pretty darn good

This Is Spinal Tap

[Tails82]

Six Days, Seven Nights

[Tails82]

Special Agent Kids - Billed as "Their Parents Are FBI Agents. Their Kids Are Smarter!" I love the smart kids meme! What can you do wrong? Turns out, a lot. I came expecting a cheap Spy Kids ripoff. What I got was a SUPER cheap ripoff.

We start off with a showdown between a mob family and the main bad guy, who is working his way up by kidnapping and killing the pets of the other families. You get to see a gunfight over the mobster's kitties. Then one of the henchmen has to use CPR to save the cats, even though he's allergic and said he failed a CPR course.

Now we see the the kids, who tell us on the bus all about their martial arts skills and who their parents are and what agency they work for and what they do. This is the forced setup of who is their daddy and what do they do. We won't be seeing much action, so stories are the only cheap way they can establish their skillz.

The sound is bad, you can tell it's a cheap mic. The sound even cuts out entirely for 10-15 seconds and they didn't even bother to replace it with some other voice reading off the script. (Was there a script?)

The FBI dad meets the mob family dad after moving in and he greets him by awkwardly flashing his badge and gun. He only learns the other dad is a criminal in the scene AFTER this one. So...why did he intimidate this guy for no reason?

Most everyone in this movie is emotionless, with the exception of the main bad guy who speaks in a mean bad guy voice. But I appreciate that he's at least TRYING to show some emotion. The phone call where he's holding the kids hostage goes off quickly, the mom doesn't sound grieved or anyting, it's just reading off the lines.

The FBI sends its confidential files...through the delivery guy...who has one job but says he can't find the house...so he gives the files to the criminal dad next door to deliver. He opens it, naturally, since he knows the FBI dad after he flashed the badge at him.

One of the kids brags about making $2,000 a day off of gambling with other schoolkids. The family hitman talks to the principal and thinks she's mad because she didn't get her cut. He then pulls a gun on a group of students on his way out, without consequence.

Karate fightin' scenes...I think they pulled some kids from a karate dojo and asked them "hay wanna be in the movie?" filmed their auditions and then put that in the movie. The same exact karate clip plays at different parts of the movie. How can you be a baby genius eight year old black belt if you don't know the real fight isn't with the enemy, but within yourself? Ah, one day I shall teach you.

The delivery guy bothered my bro the most, but I find the hostage-taking bit the worst:

NONE OF THE PEOPLE ARE TIED UP. They aren't tied to the chair. They aren't even tied by their hands! You can clearly see this since the actors suck and can't keep their hands together - I just can't believe how stupid this scene is. You know they have no restraints at all, because the girl freakin stands up when she's angry and stands with her hands at her sides. The other two still keep their hands behind their backs as if tied up, until one henchman "unties" the kids so they can go to the bathroom (as in, walks behind the kids and they free their hands before he can even touch where the ropes would be). You couldn't afford rope for this movie!?

The last kid gets free by tricking the guard into getting closer: he wants to know the secret why girls go to the bathroom together, and the boy says he has to whisper in his ear. Big mistake! The smart and skilled kids manage to beat down the mob in seconds. Moves like...a chokehold, I think? It looks more like she hugged him from the back. He does the passing out routine when she's barely touched him.

Anyway, the dad is out hostage too and has a job to do for the bad guy, if he wants to see his kid again. The bad guy threatens to let his henchman rape the kid, unless the FBI guy kills somebody else for him. They hand him a gun! So freakin cheap, I almost thought the guy was going to make gun noises with his mouth as he (fake-)shot the guy, rather than spring for a sound effect.

Terribly sequenced action scene - one kid throws the breaker switch to fight in the dark, the bad guy switches it back on...and the lights turn on before he throws the switch. It is an awkward scene because the camera stays on him (god forbid we ever tape fight footage, it might be too complex for this director). So it ends up looking like a jerky scene where the bad guy teleports from the switch box to holding his gun in the air, because they filmed no other angle to cut to before they moved him there.

I don't know why the kids call themselves special agents - it's the right actors on the cover, but they never wear those outfits in the movie.

[Tails82]

Daredevil vs. Spider-Man, which is some episodes from the 90s series. This actually has a decent amount of extras, with Stan the Man himself.

[Tails82]

Spider-Man the new animated series, The Mutant Menace. Ah, now THERE'S the barebones release I was looking for!

[little j ᵛᵉʳᶦᶠᶦᵉᵈ ✔]

I propose that we force 82 to switch his picture to a Spiderman thing.

[Tails82]

High Plains Drifter - why the rape tho

www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vdHXS9mdMQ&t=49m
www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vdHXS9mdMQ&t=1h41m

More great moments in Harvard poetry

[Tails82]

What the...? The annoying flies in MLP weren't bothering people because they were mad at ponies for hurtin the environment or whatever? They were actually just annoying flies?

[Tails82]

Baby's Day Out

[Tails82]

Dinocroc vs Supergator - since they were cheap CGI they fought for like, 10 seconds.

Ocean Waves - yeah okay but what about the ocean?